Not all kink is created equal. Just like there are some women who are into tall men and some women who are into muscular men, not every woman is going to be attracted to the same guy. Not every man is going to be attracted to the same kind of girl either. What turns us on is by and large related to and created directly because of our past experiences. Just because one person thinks anal play is hot doesn’t mean that everyone will. Likewise, just because some people are into bondage, it doesn’t mean that everyone is. Is that kind of thing really important though? If someone is into a kinky or alternative lifestyle, isn’t that good enough?
You might think that because if someone is open minded enough to not only explore but admit to enjoying alternative sex, they should, in theory, be into exploring what someone else finds arousing. That’s all well and good but the problem arises when, though both parties have agreed to try out all the fetishes and fantasies the other one has, the exploration has come to an end. What do you do when you’ve tried it all and the two people haven’t agreed on what does it for them? If what you love the most is only something they tolerate, that can lead to a huge strain on your relationship. It doesn’t even have to be more than a sexual, physical commitment. If the two people engaging in play can’t agree on what games should and shouldn’t be on the table, you’re going to have issues.
So How Do You Know
If there’s one thing any experienced alternative dater will tell you it’s this: be true to yourself. As corny as that sounds, if you aren’t happy with the sex you’re having, the life you’re leading, or the play you engage in, you’re not going to be able to let loose and really enjoy things. Let’s say you gave breath play a shot and while it sent you flying, your partner felt bored or uncomfortable. Once you’ve talked about your session, if you have the courage to ask to do it again, you’re going to be grounded. You will spend the whole time wondering if they’re hating every minute, wondering if they hate you or if they are bored. Don’t do that to yourself. The point of your play time is to let loose and be free not be trapped and pinned down by how other people feel. If you let those kinds of things determine how you lived your life, you wouldn’t be trying kink in the first place.
Your only option, when you’ve reached this point, is to move on. You have to be sexually compatible with someone or you’re better off being friends. So, if you like kink and you need to find an open-minded, adventurous spirit, where do you look? You probably got lucky with the last partner and just stumbled into them. Unfortunately, you weren’t lucky enough to find someone who was on the same page, just in the same book. Next time, you want someone to be in the same sentence and that’s going to take a little bit of digging and a little bit of work. If you really want to find that ecstasy in the bedroom, you want to find someone who not only will try your kink, but gets off on it as well. There’s nothing more erotic than finding a woman who embraces you and wants to get down in all the same ways you’re into.
Where to Look
The best place to look is on a dating site. This may sound a little clich and silly, but it really is the dating game of the future. Not only are there sites for every interest under the sun, there are also plenty of single ladies to fish through so you can afford to be picky. When you decide to start hunting for the best site for you, keep in mind your budget, your requirements, and how accessible the site is. If you’re broke, don’t sign up for something that’s going to put you on a beans and rice diet. If you are serious about your hunt, however, keep in mind that most sites have some kind of cover charge. If you are only interested in a certain kind of kink as opposed to alternative play in general, you might consider looking for a kinky dating site that is focused solely on your brand of love, rather than scam on other sites for hours looking for just the right girl. It’s far better to go through 50 women who all get off on what you want to do than looking through 500 that only might be into it. Most legit kink sites do cater to a wide variety of interests. They do, however, also allow you to specify what you like and what your partner should like so don’t rule general alt dating sites out completely.
As luck would have it, the best sites out there are the kinky dating sites, just look out for scams. Since this kind of dating is still viewed, in large part, as outside the norm, there are lots of people who are looking to take advantage of it. You will, from time to time, get men and women who aren’t really into any kind of alternative play but are merely looking for an easy hook up. Since alternative daters are generally thought to be more sexually open, they see it as an easy, fast target. These scammers are easy to spot on these sites, however, as most won’t know a thing about kinky dating. So, when you are out there rummaging through online dating sites, stay sharp. Find The Best Kinky Dating Sites (Our Comprehensive Reviews) on the internet and choose the top sites that are free of scams.
The hardest thing about online dating is conveying yourself in your profile. When it asks you for a summary, try to keep it concise. If you’re having trouble coming up with things to say (maybe you’re not good at talking about yourself) try starting with what brought you to the site in the first place. You might be surprised at how many other singles have found their way here because they want a strong sexual connection that they simply haven’t been able to find. Don’t worry about seeming cool or interesting, it will feel like you’re trying too hard, just be yourself. There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want and trying to find it.
No matter what kind of kink you’re looking for, it’s out there and you will find it. Just because you’ve had shitty luck in the past, don’t let it get in your head. There are dozens of men and women on the hunt for that thing that makes them moan. Good sex leads to a happier life and who isn’t looking for that.
Sure, work can be satisfying – a job well done can be a nice feeling – but it’s not the same. Having a clean home or making a good meal can be nice, but it’s not the same. Face it, there’s nothing quite like delicious, mind-blowing sex that lets you escape. That escape is what keeps alts coming back for more, it’s what makes regular sex not enough, and it’s something you can find if you start looking.